That Was Then, This Is Now (Submitted by Dani)

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The following poems, submitted by Dani, were written at different periods in her life. The first one was composed when the author was just sixteen years old. The second piece was created 2 weeks prior to her bipolar diagnosis...

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A Stranger's Eyes - Age 16


Looking through a stranger's eyes
Hiding - Out of sight
Wondering if these stranger's eyes
Will hide me from the fright.

A stranger's eyes so full of love
A heart so full of grace
But no one sees what's inside me
They only see my face

I do not want to know myself
What inside me lies
When I stare into that mirror
I must simply close my eyes

Through the darkness of those stranger's eyes
I find some happy place
And only there can I open up
To show my love and grace

I Sigh 2008: 2 weeks before diagnosis


I sigh but don't cry
I want to cry until
I am purged of the pain

I can't cry
It is like a dam
Waiting to break

The pressure building from
A raging storm
What if the dam breaks?

The water floods
It can't be stopped - unrelenting
Leaving distruction in its wake

More pain
But for all the others
Release is the dam's alone

Release for the damned
So I sigh, but don't cry
The price is too high

The small cracks in the dam
slow release nor real relief
Just cracks and slow leaks

The pressure still building
Cracks hidden without repair
Integrity weakening

Maybe there is not stopping the flood
Planned, contained flood
To protect those in its path

Options - not options
Responsibility, fault, blame
Never purged from the pain

I sigh