Forgiving - (Submitted by Terry)

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Forgiving

i want to forgive
you or him or she
or them or that race


someone, somehow
i don't care right now who


liar


liar


just a primal urge
a fountain of reminding me


adding my burden of remorse
to the great back that
ends under the weight
of the universe all us


now i need to forgive
misuse the misappropriated
fantastical slide rule i



don't understand but



governs leftover calculus equations
                       in the queasy pit of my stomach
                                    that i tangentially know are me


forgive me - myself


for anything


for everything


for nothing


i can't


you can


i can't swallow to forgive
what i did and didn't do


you can - you will
this is not a test


who are you? who the fuck are you?
telling, telling, that to, to me
numbers don't count


you can
forgive


i can't


of all in the world
you know why


you can


i can't
i can't look into my eyes


forget what shame transcends
i can't lose my desperation
never vanish my shadow


you will


i won't
forgive
me.


again.