Tag the Stupid People

Fuck stupid people. No one likes them. Of the numerous things that really piss me off, stupid people account for the vast majority. One thing that drives me to my absolute breaking point is when I see a doe-eyed, overweight housewife, whimpering, and gazing in astonishment at a psychic’s every word on television.

“Can you talk to my dead grandma?” a woman pleads. Her hand is cupped by Montel Williams.

“I am seeing her now. She says she loves you. She is saying something about a kitchen,” the amazing psychic responds.

“A kitchen? Holy shit! My grandma lived in a house with a kitchen!” shouts the woman.

I almost choke on my Slim-jim. She’ll question the psychic more. I mean, she won’t buy it that easily… right? This psychic will have to prove it with a hell of a lot more detailed information than that. No one is that dumb. Nope. No way. Hold on... she isn’t questioning it. She’s clapping and crying. People are applauding the psychic. What in the fuck is going on? All of a sudden, I realize that I am punching myself in the face and turn the television off. What could this woman really offer society? Besides a “Don’t go there!” t-shirt, not much.

Stupid people, while entertaining at times, slow the progress of life, and make being in public frustrating as hell. I could go on for hours about it. Anyone could. The one thing that we can all agree on is that there are too many dumb fucking people in the world today. Instead of just bitching about it, I have a solution. I have a noble idea for the assholes that make you scream in your car, and throw dishes and cutlery at your dog. No, my idea is not a psychotic, murderous solution, like Hitler, or Darth Vader would come up with. It is just an option that would help improve the quality of life.

Dumb people should be tagged. Like the animals they match in intellect, they can be avoided and tracked.

You believe a psychic is real because she told you that your uncle said he loves and misses you from beyond the grave...

Tag.

You shoot your friend with a shotgun while hunting for quail…

Tag.

While driving, you come to a complete stop before you make a right-hand turn…

Tag.

The minute someone illustrates stupidity this horrendously, they should be pointed out. We would have a warning when we were about to encounter a person with an I.Q. the equivalent of a urinal cake. The advantages would be astounding. Think of the shitheads you could avoid. Oh yeah... I'm starting NOW.