Where are they going in such a rush?

By Kim Shannon on 3:04 AM

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I must tell you, I am going completely out of my mind while I'm waiting for this disability claim to be approved...  I KNOW 12 pages of documentation isn't that difficult to get through - so why has it been almost a year already?? 
 I thought bipolar disorder was a pretty cut and dry disability to have -  "Hi, I'm Kim. I have bipolar disorder. Bad. I have had 43 jobs in 15 years. Obviously, I am an incompetent employee. It is due to the fact that I am nuts - can I have my check now?" 
 Easy, right? That's what I though too, but I guess the federal government has a different idea of what "simple" is, because they are certainly taking their sweet time. So I'm bored stiff, and broke so I pretty much have resorted to living vicariously through other people.  I watch them like hawk to try and figure out what the hell they're so happy about. 
 A good place to do that is the mall - there are people EVERYWHERE!!!

I am, by nature, a fast walker...(quick like a bunny!); the reason why is pretty obvious. But today, I noticed that there are people out there in this fabulously crazy world who move like they've been drinking jet fuel for a completely different reason...

There were a lot of important people walking around the mall!! Walking briskly. That's the way to walk when you're wearing a suit or heels for the benefit of convincing others that you are "someone to know"...  Strolling while wearing a suit makes you look like the President. He doesn't have to be brisk; everyone knows he's important. (The US president, that is. The mall president has to walk that way because he's too short to otherwise keep up with people.)

I've also noticed that putting your hands in your pants pockets while wearing a buttoned suit jacket makes you look like a lazy and/or pompus jackass, and makes me think of the word "congressman."

 Don't wear a suit unless you're going to be doing something important.
If you zip zip zip down a corrider and look at your watch 3 or 4 times before you get to the end, you must be SUPER DUPER important.



It really is nice to have all these busy, important people rush by while I sit on a bench and just wonder about them... "people watching" is what my mother used to call it.


Makes me feel like a dirty hippy. I wish I had a guitar to play for them.... They probably would have thrown money at me.







4 comments for this post

A Piece of Work

Kimminentdanger, you crack me up, girl! I love the way you write! You play the guitar and I'll play the recorder, as that is the only instrument I know how to play! Learned to play in 5th grade, probably like everyone else...and I still can play "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star"!!

When I go to the mall or anywhere else for that matter, I always dress nice...not in business attire but I want to look my best. I want to look on the outside what I'm not on the inside. I pretend I actually have a life like everyone else seems to have. I isolate myself in my house 90% of the time. If I go out of the house, I want to be noticed! "Hey! Look at me!! I have a life too!!"

Let me introduce myself...My first name is Camey and my last names are Bipolar-Depression-Avoidant Personality-Anorexia-Agoraphobia-OCD-Anxiety. Pleased to meet you all. If you're following behind me, please be careful not to step on my last names.

Posted on Wednesday, December 31, 2008  

Thanks for the idea, Kim. Next time I decide to go people watching at the mall, I'll bring my guitar. And I might even give you a cut of my earnings to go towards that ass transplant you probably need :p.

Disability, huh? I think we're doing that with Heather...and a year? Ridiculous. I thought the DMV was bad...shiiiiit.

Posted on Friday, January 02, 2009  
Anonymous

this was such an interesting article and made me think quite a bit about people at the mall -you have peeked my curiosity and the next time I am at a mall, I will purposely sit down and watch - observe the way you did - who's in a hurry and who is not and make a game of it - guess their profession and such.........who's on a mission and who is just wasting time....thanks for this informative writing!

Posted on Friday, April 03, 2009  

I find it refreshing and amusing to be able to read a decent visual so nicely articulated, when I get it because I could have thought it myself. lol

Posted on Friday, June 19, 2009  
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