So What?

By Kim Shannon on 9:05 PM

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Hello Readers!!

First Things First:

As you can see, I am back to business - my blog is free & clear of those infuriating photobucket images which were plastered on my pages like makeup on Pammy Anderson... (and let me add that this was through no fault of my own - of course. Nothing ever is.)

Moving on... here's what's happening in my neck of the asylum:

I've been thinking lately about change. More specifically, I've been thinking about changes I've made and asking myself whether or not they've been worth the friggin effort.

Kim: Self, have the efforts I made been worth it?
Self: I'm not sure, Kim. What makes you ask?
Kim: Well, I was thinking that maybe it was easier when I was fucked up - at least I was oblivious to reality. Reality sucks.
Self: Happy is as happy does, Kim.
Kim: Thanks Forrest. And fuck you.

As you can see, conversations with myself rarely turn out well.

Before I discovered the wonderful world of meds, I behaved badly (I make the girls from Absolutely Fabulous look like nuns) but I FELT happy... Seeing things clearly and behaving like a good girl ain't so grand - it's unbearably boring; the world tends to be ugly and people tend to be shit. I wanna be crazy again so the world is just a kaleidoscope and everything is easy, breezy, beautiful; Crazy Girl.
Why would I want sanity when the other side of the coin is so much shinier?


Attainable Affirmations (as published at pendulum.org)


**As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.

**I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.

**I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.

**I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay employed.

**In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.

**Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others.

**As I learn the innermost secrets of people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.

**I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.

**Joan of Arc heard voices, too.

**I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.

**When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying.

**The first step is to say nice things about myself.

**The second, to do nice things for myself.

**The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.

**As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.

**I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.

**Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"

**Who can I blame for my problems? Just give me a minute... I'll find someone.

**I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.

**I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.

Hmmmm....

Kim: What do you think about that, Self?
Self: Only crazy people talk to themselves Kim.
Kim: Sigh.

3 comments for this post

Anonymous

I enjoyed reading this but sometimes am almost afraid to go any further because of the vile language. It really is a turn off and loses the result of the piece. Why do people think it is impressive to drop the "f" bomb all the time? Maybe that is part of the disease - to use expletives, no matter how offensive. Yes?

Posted on Friday, April 03, 2009  

Although I do appreciate your comment, I must let you know that:

#1. I do not aim to impress ANYONE - I write for me, not for you.

#2. If my language offends you, the solution is simple: click onto another fucking page.

Thanks for reading!

- Kim

Posted on Saturday, April 04, 2009  

Fuck!!!! I really love Ab Fab!!! Oh, sorry did I offend thee? I truly miss fucking with the world like I used to. True, being good is BORING. I should relate to you some of my adventures of a sicko. I bet you would laugh. I could be a real monster. Depression is boring. Being level is mediocre. Mediocrity is like death. Take your meds.....simmer down...stare at the wall...oh what fun it is to be mental. OSUN

Posted on Monday, April 06, 2009  
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