I have decided to move the content from http://turbulentstories.blogspot.com to it's own page on this blog.
The traffic on the "Turbulent" blog is about as busy as the traffic in West Cowpoke, Arkansas, population 136.
So keep your eyes peeled for all the additional content that will be appearing here. You really don't want to miss the wonderful submissions from others who are battling bipolar disorder. They tell their stories & illustrate their struggles through short stories, truth based fiction, short memoirs and poetry... their talents are indescribable. Stay tuned and see for yourself.
I feel the need to publicly offer my sincerest apologies to the poker genius I insulted last night when he pushed me over the edge with his incessant shit talking... I believe my exact words were "Hear that? That's the sound of logic screaming in agony .... but thankfully, brain trumps mouth..." and for that, I am truly sorry.
What I meant to say was "I'm sorry, I don't speak fluent caveman, but I'm pretty sure what you just said translates to: 'Please come across the poker table and shatter my jaw because I am an utter imbecile and deserve to have my obnoxious ass beat down until I stop breathing and die- then I should be brought back to life just so I can have my ass kicked again.' or something to that effect. And by the way, motherfucker, is that your face or did you just block a kick?"
So, truly, if I said anything out of line, please believe me... um... that's it. Just please believe me.
Fuck stupid people. No one likes them. Of the numerous things that really piss me off, stupid people account for the vast majority. One thing that drives me to my absolute breaking point is when I see a doe-eyed, overweight housewife, whimpering, and gazing in astonishment at a psychic’s every word on television.
“Can you talk to my dead grandma?” a woman pleads. Her hand is cupped by Montel Williams.
“I am seeing her now. She says she loves you. She is saying something about a kitchen,” the amazing psychic responds.
“A kitchen? Holy shit! My grandma lived in a house with a kitchen!” shouts the woman.
I almost choke on my Slim-jim. She’ll question the psychic more. I mean, she won’t buy it that easily… right? This psychic will have to prove it with a hell of a lot more detailed information than that. No one is that dumb. Nope. No way. Hold on... she isn’t questioning it. She’s clapping and crying. People are applauding the psychic. What in the fuck is going on? All of a sudden, I realize that I am punching myself in the face and turn the television off. What could this woman really offer society? Besides a “Don’t go there!” t-shirt, not much.
Stupid people, while entertaining at times, slow the progress of life, and make being in public frustrating as hell. I could go on for hours about it. Anyone could. The one thing that we can all agree on is that there are too many dumb fucking people in the world today. Instead of just bitching about it, I have a solution. I have a noble idea for the assholes that make you scream in your car, and throw dishes and cutlery at your dog. No, my idea is not a psychotic, murderous solution, like Hitler, or Darth Vader would come up with. It is just an option that would help improve the quality of life.
Dumb people should be tagged. Like the animals they match in intellect, they can be avoided and tracked.
You believe a psychic is real because she told you that your uncle said he loves and misses you from beyond the grave...
You shoot your friend with a shotgun while hunting for quail…
While driving, you come to a complete stop before you make a right-hand turn…
The minute someone illustrates stupidity this horrendously, they should be pointed out. We would have a warning when we were about to encounter a person with an I.Q. the equivalent of a urinal cake. The advantages would be astounding. Think of the shitheads you could avoid. Oh yeah... I'm starting NOW.
This post was submitted by Heather, who obviously has some strong feelings on the matter... Thanks Heather!
Hey I got something to submit if your still looking for outside info for the blog..
" You are right on target here. Labels are a biitch, no we aren't the center of attentio n seekers, and hey you know the fuck what??? If I had a choice I would make it all just go away and not have the dramatics in my life.. Hell I have tried to ignore this bipolar shit for years. You know what happens when you do that with out help? You fucking cycle and then it gets worse. If your lucky it won't get followed up with anything that leads to legalities. ANd the sad thing is your right. It is a sickness, Its not a fucking tabboo subject. Its fucking life. The autistic the children born with down syndrome, mental retardation, or even are just a little slower on grasping things are born with it too. Too fucking bad you wanna shut it off and walk away and pretend its not there. None of us fucking can!!! Its a living hell battling with yourself everyday teetering between the social ideas of normaility and your reality of normaility. Its as though at times we bipolars are possesed or short circuting. Its a spiral of confusion. Yes we eventually learn to cope and live and be able to function but thats those that are lucky. And then there are those of us that just dont know what is wrong with us or are crying for the help and never get it end up in trouble in our lives not knowing whats up or down. Its a scary thing to face that reflection that you see in the morning...You just can't walk away and pretend they aren't there. You never can walk away from you..I agree Kimmie, Society just doesnt make things any fucking easier for us. the question is are we really that fucking far from the old days? Have we progressed or is it all just another form of putting us in mental institutions and forgetting we exsist to wallow away in our own filth??? I say no. It is up to us to take up our bretheren in this God awful mental war we face daily. We help each other and stand tall and say Fuck off!!! WHo the hell needs your views??? Live in my fucking shoes and live my fucking real horrors in real fucking life both physical and mental and then you can judge me. Fuck off! The normaility is that noone is without fault and in some point int anyones life they can agree they have lived to some small extent at the least of what we live in a day. Don't take pitty, don't look away, and don't fucking stare. Have some fucking balls ask a fucking question and fucking empower yourself you moronic assholes, get educated and stop judging and being afraid of what you know nothing about. Reality and experience in my life suggests that yes sometimes education is scary, because you face cruel realities...but its also what leads to the epiphany of OH NOW I UNDERSTAND!!!
And if you wanna get right down to it..we can be damned good parents, because there are those of us, like myself, that care very much our children. We are very intune with thier needs. We are often able to see warning signs of any emotion issue a child may have...because hey we have lived it. My life has been sure hell. We have endured allot more then allot of any red blodded Americans could take in my family. And because of that, I knew what that meant for my kids...None of it had to do with me or anything I had done. Everything had to do w/ prejudices and morons. And children were the biggest victims. I am damned proud to say that I signed my kids in for counciling and you know what?? The councilor told me that I had children that were very healthy, especially in mental health...Because I learned long ago how to slow the anger, forgive, and move on. And taught it to them. I know this may sound contradictory here but every once in a while someone has to open thier mouths to help those that fucking cant!!
I teeter between meds or no meds. And you know what? I am me, take me or leave me. I am a devoted friend, spouce and dedicated mother, who will rip a fucking head off for those she loves. I advocate for those whom I can, I help the disabled and elderly without any compensation....and you know where I can find the most comfort??? WIth my grandmother..she suffers from althimers and demntia. She is basically feeling the same types of things I am with different labels..
Yeah people,like Kimmie said Labels are a bitch. Too bad Dementia is one of those bitches. I read an online article stating there was a theory that mental health is diagnosed on what it is in different decades of a persons life, ADHD, Bipolar, Depression, Dementia, The theory was that each label was at times difficult to differentiate, if I am not mistaken about this. But it suggested that bipolar and dementia are closely related. SO SOCIETY Shove the labels and looking down the noses and shoulder shrugs and side stares up you ass!!! No matter what a person does someway somehow it happens to everyone. Especially depression, a job loss, a death...Look in the mirror and then prtend that ones not there! HAHA fucking HAHAHA"
IF its good and you wanna use it go for it, edit it I dont care..lol If not its just my POV on agreeing with you. HUGS
Yup. There's just TOO MUCH stuff going on. Not in my life, *sigh*, but on this blog. Oh yeah. WAYYYYYYY too much stuff. Something's gotta give.
This page looks like an explosion of a Mardi Gras float carrying 73 beauty pageant contestants who just purged a bucket of Skittles. I'm used to chaos & mayhem, but this is taking it way too far.
Tacky, tacky, tacky.
the afternoon awoke sometime, hours ago
i sleep like vampire at dawn
god can’t be this accurate, but why assume caring now
my barnacled eyes – robin breast red – pry open
towering difficulty, bitterness crawls between my teeth and gums
revolted by my hope that this vulgarity would implode
i know better than breath hope
i grumble out of our comfortable bed detailed shapes on each side
now granite cut, sharp sleep after whiskey pills 3 times dosage fuck this and fuck that
stumble through dying life emptiness
reeking clothes beer cans, bottles yawning computer
find the bathroom – comfort porcelain
the mirror swarms fly-by memories grease fire images
three weeks ago
can’t escape can’t fathom
turn off the light
fall against bathtub gather foetal
place pure darkness where nothing matters
forgetting is no false effort dank room my baby blanket now
hard door knocking again?
calling my name detectives professionally
tread carefully killer found their pride and relief
laugh, i laugh i wretch why do i care?
testify pronounce a man guilty
justice for your wife, you
their voices white noise my self-protective deafness
i don’t care about justice don’t want it know it
not judges people or magic not prisons death needles not god
no blame no guilt for me just a hole
pierced in my soul blackened dead at the edges
let him go shoot someone else
let someone else’s family condemn him
just let him go
a moral in life and in demise
a moment of celebration
finality without glamour
welcomed like cold steel
stiff by knowing
no choice, no judge
First Things First:
As you can see, I am back to business - my blog is free & clear of those infuriating photobucket images which were plastered on my pages like makeup on Pammy Anderson... (and let me add that this was through no fault of my own - of course. Nothing ever is.)
Moving on... here's what's happening in my neck of the asylum:
I've been thinking lately about change. More specifically, I've been thinking about changes I've made and asking myself whether or not they've been worth the friggin effort.
Kim: Self, have the efforts I made been worth it?
Self: I'm not sure, Kim. What makes you ask?
Kim: Well, I was thinking that maybe it was easier when I was fucked up - at least I was oblivious to reality. Reality sucks.
Self: Happy is as happy does, Kim.
Kim: Thanks Forrest. And fuck you.
As you can see, conversations with myself rarely turn out well.
Before I discovered the wonderful world of meds, I behaved badly (I make the girls from Absolutely Fabulous look like nuns) but I FELT happy... Seeing things clearly and behaving like a good girl ain't so grand - it's unbearably boring; the world tends to be ugly and people tend to be shit. I wanna be crazy again so the world is just a kaleidoscope and everything is easy, breezy, beautiful; Crazy Girl.
Why would I want sanity when the other side of the coin is so much shinier?
Attainable Affirmations (as published at pendulum.org)
**As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.
**I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.
**I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.
**I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay employed.
**In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.
**Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others.
**As I learn the innermost secrets of people around me, they reward me in many ways to keep me quiet.
**I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.
**Joan of Arc heard voices, too.
**I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.
**When someone hurts me, I know that forgiveness is cheaper than a lawsuit, but not nearly as gratifying.
**The first step is to say nice things about myself.
**The second, to do nice things for myself.
**The third, to find someone to buy me nice things.
**As I learn to trust the universe, I no longer need to carry a gun.
**I honor and express all facets of my being, regardless of state and local laws.
**Today I will gladly share my experience and advice, for there are no sweeter words than "I told you so!"
**Who can I blame for my problems? Just give me a minute... I'll find someone.
**I am learning that criticism is not nearly as effective as sabotage.
**I am willing to make the mistakes if someone else is willing to learn from them.
Kim: What do you think about that, Self?
Self: Only crazy people talk to themselves Kim.