By Kim Shannon on 5:19 PM
Filed Under: lists
Yeah yeah, I'll take the damn three cents.
So I had planned to expose an online bullshit artist this afternoon in this blog post. Because of unforseen circumstances (I didn't feel like it) that will not be happening. Let's shoot for tomorrow....
In the meantime, to keep you sustained... (I mean, let's face it; you're chomping at the bit to get a piece of that woman) I am giving you a little list of DO's and DONT's that I think we should all memorize and live by.
** A private thank you goes out to the woman who told me "Don't ever burn your bridges". I thought you were an arrogant bitch, and I HATE unsolicited advice, but without your input, this list would not exist. So for being an intruding and obnoxious pain in the ass, thank you.
Okay, let's roll up our handcuffs and begin, shall we?
1. DO avoid cliches like the plague
2. DO settle with a flamethrower that which cannot be settled with words.
3. DO talk. If you can improve on the silence. If you can't, DO shut up.
4. DON'T judge a book by its movie.
5. DON'T use a big word when a diminutive one will certainly suffice.
6. DON'T put old people in ponds.
7. DON'T breed.
That's it. Be happy you got THAT.... there are kids in China who would be elated to read that list.