I Can't Effing Stand It

Any one of these things has the potential to make my brain bleed...
1. Michael Vick
2. Customer Service people who provide everything BUT customer service
3. "Baby On Board" decals
4. Whoopi Goldberg stickingup for Michael Vick
5. People who drive below the speed limit. Fuck off and pull over.
6. Two facedness. If you don't like me, don't pretend to. Do you see me making nicey nice to you, bitch? Let's just agree to hate each other openly.
7. Right-to-Lifers. The little baby feet pins they peddle? I'd like to take a pair of those little feet and kick them in the ass with it.
8. Radical Feminists who can't take a joke. Go home; shave your legs and wax the ‘stache... all that body hair is making you cranky
9. Passive Aggressive behavior... In other people. It's okay when I do it.
10. Blue Eyeshadow
11. Soccer Moms
12. People who order toasted bagels at the Dunkin Donuts Drive Thru. If you're eating that crap you NEED to WALK into the store to order it. It's a drive-thru, not five star dining. These people almost always drive minivans or SUV's and 99.99% of the time are soccer moms. Bitches. And they're holding up the line
13. Lawn Ornaments
14. People who insist on explaining anything and everything in excruciating he said/she said and then this happened and that happened detail. Skip the gristle and get to the bone please. Tick tock; time is money. Unless, of course, I'm the one telling the story...
15. Moral Superiority........
16. Moral Bankruptcy .........
**There's a happy medium on this one - I've enjoyed it for years...
17. Rule Benders.... Grow some balls and blatantly break a rule, wouldja?
18. Pick up truck drivers who meticulously wax and buff their huge truck beds till they shine and never actually haul anything. I thought pick up trucks were used to pick stuff up?
19. Perpetual Dieters. Put down the bag of Cheetos, get the hell off the couch and stop fooling yourself. The "All Processed and Fried All the Time" diet didn't work the last time, and I'll bet dollars to the bag of donuts you're hiding in your purse that you're not gonna see stellar results in this round either.
20. People who stand in line at Stop n Shop complaining quietly the ENTIRE TIME... "Huff Puff I don't believe this, why do they only have one clerk on a holiday weekend? This is ridiculous!" Shifting from one foot to another... blah blah motherfucking blah. Just shut up and do what I do: Complain loudly ONE time (swearing is optional) about how you don't have time to wait for a cashier to become competent; throw your shit on the counter and leave. It's way more liberating that way.
21. Having someone read over my shoulder.
22. People who stack their plate in a neat little pile for a waitress at a restaurant, yet neglect to clear even one plate from the dinner table at home..
23. Political corruption
24. Political Correctness
25. Mothers who have no other points of conversation besides their adorable and highly advanced for their age children or their stretch marks, length of labor and c-section scars.
26. Pop up ads
27. People who pronounce lawn with a 'd' on the end of it.
28. A fresh loaf of bread placed at the BOTTOM of the grocery bag
29. People who are always early. It is just really rude.
30. People who make excuses for being early.
31. People who don't apologize for making YOU early.
32. Alcohol breath. Unless it's MY alcohol breath - then it's fine.
33. People who talk about you when you are still in the room. How rude...you are supposed to talk about people behind their back... it's called manners.
34. Retail clerks who don't acknowledge my royal presence.
35. People who insist on taking their 2 year old to grown up movies so we can all appreciate the lovely child more.
36. Excessive and unnecessary use of "quotation" marks
37. People who always talk about how honest they are. Truly honest people don't have to advertise. Honestly.
38. Donkeys who suck out on the river.
39. Spelling errors on public signs or in advertisements.
40. Going out on the bubble.

Michael Sick

Hey Michael Dick... er - Vick:

DOUCHEBAG.

Dog Abusing Douchebag

I betcha you can all guess who today's douchebag is. Yup, you guessed it. Michael Vick. This assface has the NERVE to announce to the world that he will now be an animal rights advocate? Really? That's like Michael Jackson becoming a foster parent. Sickening.
*ring ring* Hello? Do you have any douchebag repellent? *click* now if I could just stop twitching...ouch...


I wouldn't let this monster get within 3 feet of my dog.

In fact, I'd rather:

** Contract Swine Flu
** Sleep with Dr. Phil (another douchebag)
** Dip my face in a vat of battery acid
** Pull my toenails off with a pair of pliers
** Shave my head
** Drink a hobo's urine
** Wear a hobo's socks
** French kiss a hobo
** Let a hobo spit in my mouth
** Rub broken glass in my eyes
** Wash my face with vomit
** Sit on Jerry Falwell's lap
** Give Pat Buchanan a massage with a happy ending
** Slice my nipples off with a serated steak knife
** Jam an ice pick into my ear canal
** Beat myself with a trout
** Have planet's axis inserted up my ass sideways with no lube,wrapped in
several layers of barbed wire and drenched in rubbing alcohol).
** Jump into a kettle of simmering tar and cardboard box full of feathers


Hey Michael Dick, I mean Vick: fuck off and die in a fire screaming, you heartless douchebag.

Can I see some I.D.?

My paranoia is getting increasingly worse. I trust no one.

Douchebag In The Elevator May 13, 2009

TELL ME ABOUT YOUR KID'S SOCCER GAME!

Because, goddamn it, I want to know! When I said “What’s up?” to you in the elevator ten minutes ago, I certainly didn’t mean “What’s up?” as a convenient and all-but-universally acknowledged euphemism for “I know you and must acknowledge your presence but I have no actual desire to talk to you and/or hear about what has been happening in your pathetic joke of a life.”

No siree, I asked you that obviously heartfelt question with genuine interest and a burning desire to know what you, that wooly mammoth wife of yours, and those just-as-dumb-as-they-are-ugly kids of yours have been up to. And I was especially hoping that you would be kind enough to share a George Michael Sports Machine-type recap and analysis of nine-year-old Taylor’s latest adventure in the world’s least watchable sport.

And you were definitely hip to the excited subtext that I was laying down. Most people would’ve responded to my seemingly innocuous query with a simple, “Hey,” or perhaps a perfunctory “Not much,” in some misguided attempt to abide by the unspoken rules of workplace conversation.

But a guy like you isn’t constrained by such generally agreed-upon social conventions. No, you’re too much a maverick to play society’s little parlor game. And for that I salute you. When someone asks you “What’s up?”, by golly, you’re going to give them their money’s worth!

Or perhaps you’re just a raging egomaniac who has convinced himself that whatever happens to him and his physically repellent family must surely be of interest to others—even when those others have easily discernible bags under their eyes, two days of facial growth, and several other unmistakable indicia of the severely hungover and thoroughly uninterested.

Whatever the reason, you jumped at the chance to give me an excruciating little summary of your family’s weekend. As a result, I am now the proud owner of way too much knowledge regarding the following events:


I'm just saying, 'What if?'

1.) The Sears run you made on Saturday to get a replacement filter for the air conditioner in the den. That was some fascinating shit. That part about how they didn’t have the right one for your exact model so they had to order it? Ri-goddamn-donkulous. I’m amazed you didn’t kill yourself right then and there. You might actually want to think about that. Seriously.

2.) The “little one’s” Sunday morning swim class. Words can’t begin to express how little I care about that or how much I’d like to douse your genitals with hot coffee.

Quick question: what would happen if one of the kids at the swim class drowned? Say, for example, your kid? Would they cancel the rest of the class that day? Would the other kids get a partial refund? I bet if your kid drowned – or ended up dead some other way – you would have to miss work and wouldn’t be able to tell me what’s been "up" for at least a week. Interesting.

3.) Taylor's soccer team's thrilling 1-0 victory over the Lions. By the way, “Taylor” – is that a boy or a girl? (I guess I never asked because I never really gave a shit.) A boy, huh? Nine-years old – has he come out of the closet yet? What am I “suggesting”? I’m not suggesting anything, douchefuck. I’m straight up implying that your son is gay. Newsflash: when he asked you after the soccer game if he could go over to Todd’s house to watch movies, he was really asking if he could go and smoke Todd’s pickle. And Evan’s. And Jacob’s. And Todd’s grandpa’s. Seriously, I read all about it on gaysonsofguysIwanttokill.org. Hey, I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you, but that’s “what’s up” with that kid.

Okay, you got me – I’m not all that sorry to be the one to tell you that your son’s gay. In fact, I enjoyed it almost as much as little Taylor enjoyed licking Todd’s grandpa’s wrinkled shaft.

Die.

I've got a label for YOU, pal. - (Kim)

We're always telling people to share their feelings... "Don't be ashamed," we say. "Having bipolar disorder is not shameful and it's not your fault!" However... those of us that stick to that line of reasoning and start talking to others about our disorder are still a problem for the general public. AARRGGHH!! Damned if you do, and damned it you don't. Some douchebags take issue with people who DO publically share the knowledge that they are mentally ill. Especially those who announce it for all to hear (like me!) .

There have been many accusations chucked at me, but the most frequently used accusation (by a landslide) is “You’re an attention seeker”.

What the general population doesn’t know is that THIS attention seeker went through ten years of hellish episodes and denial, denial, denial before I accepted that something was mentally wrong with me. The reason for the denial??? I thought I was an attention seeker. Ha! And I thought all my problems were so insignificant that if I did try to get help, the doctors would laugh at me and say "Do you need a little atten? Ha Ha Ha"...

I have always been fairly open. The VERY DAY I was diagnosed with Bipolar 1, Rapid Cycling with Mixed States, I went out with my friends and told EVERYONE IN SIGHT!

What I was seeking was general reassurance, naturally. (DUH!) I know that left to my own devices, I would have self-destructed. I openly discuss my mental illness because I'm working on SELF PRESERVATION; NOT ATTENTION! Jackasses.

Another reason I am open (especially now) about this is because I don’t want people like

me to be tarred and feathered, then labeled "seekers of attention". Manic depression is an illness, like diabetes; like any incurable disease that needs to be treated ...

There's just something about mental illness that makes the general population blink from the glare and look the other way. We are falsely accused - we're told "You're bringing this on yourself" or that we're doing something to cause ourselves to spend all our money, talk really fast, not sleep, not eat, fight with everybody, cry, think of dying... Yeah - you're right "Einstein"... all of that stuff is something I love so much that I intentionally bring it into my life... Asshole.

Bipolar, as you probably already know, is something that's difficult to explain, BUT IF MY STORY HELPS JUST ONE PERSON TO UNDERSTAND AND ACCEPT THIS DISORDER AS A REALITY, THEN I'LL SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE EXPLAINING IT!

There’s more to this than documentaries interviewing fuzzy haired artists tell about in their litle indie flicks... And more than the mental wards you see on 20/20 or 60 Minutes. It isn’t all about crying in your bed, or just sitting, always simply being mentally ill. Nor is it about running down the streets half dressed (although I have done a fair amount of that, too). Our life revolves around taking medication and coping with the problems that go along with it..

Pills for the Mentally Interesting have pretty tragic side effects. I really don’t blame people when they go off their meds. It seems to me that they'd prefer going insane over having side effects like the dreaded Lamictal rash from the pills they're taking. I've been tempted to throw the little fuckers down the toilet too! But because of the hundreds of thousands of banner-waving depressives, boasting about their “meds” and wearing t-shirts listing their mental problems, people get nervous about it and put it on their politically correct list of "Things You Must Never Talk About". They raise their eyebrows at the mentally ill; they can't stand it when we bring it into the light and encourage open conversation about our disorders. "Taking medication & mentioning it means you’re proud" they say. You’re showing off. You’re oh-so-fucked up. Blah blah motherfucking blah. How DARE they put a label on me?

I've got news... I have a label for YOU too: "IGNORANT"!!! I'm not a fucking dress on a rack at Macy's... I'M HUMAN!!! (I just live in technicolor while they have to settle for a black and white world)

And On A More Ladylike Note...

As I've mentioned previously, the creative work submitted to my "Turbulent Stories" blog will now be published here.

Click on the "CREATIVE" tab above and prepare to feast your eyes on some of the most disturbing, eloquent and raw writing I've ever seen.

Insanity feeds on our reason, not our creativity... These stories, poems and memoirs remind us of that.

TilaTequila's Dating Tips

I read something today that had me spitting my coffee all over my computer monitor. This is from http://celebrityjihad.com, and is re-published with permission.

Tila Tequila might seem unattainable, but deep down she’s just a regular girl…a regular girl with a dad who fucked up real, real bad. We recently caught up with the sexy star of A Shot at Love and asked her for some frank advice about modern dating.

*Ladies, having standards is important, but make sure they aren’t too high. Remember, the “perfect man” is just a fairytale, like Bigfoot or HIV.

*Guys, nothing kills a date faster than bad manners. Not offering your date a Valtrex isn’t just thoughtless, it’s downright rude.

*Speaking of bad manners, if you don’t open doors for me, I don’t open my legs for you…unless you have money. Then it doesn’t really matter.

*Guys, if you’re at dinner and the waiter starts to flirt with your date, calmly stand up, smash a wine glass on the table, hold the shards of glass to his neck and demand that he respect you. Anything less and your girl will think you’re a pussy.

*If you smell raw fish and we’re not at a sushi restaurant, DON’T comment on it.

*Ok guys, you’ve already paid for an expensive meal. Now it’s time to go the extra mile. Offer to hold back your date’s hair as she regurgitates her food in the parking lot. Extra points if you have a mint waiting!

*Ladies, he’s there to make you feel special, so don’t be afraid to order a side of “balls in your mouth” at dinner.

*Remember, you can’t buy your way into a girl’s bedroom. Try using coke.

*Guys, when you’re on your first date and the girl starts blowing you, don’t push down on her head. That’s way too forward and could make her gag and vomit on your wee-wee before she’s ready to.

*No condom, no problem! Remember girls; no one ever had a butt baby.

*Ladies, isn’t it annoying when you’re on a date with a guy and he asks you where he should “finish”? He knows we’re just going to scoop it up and eat it regardless of where it lands, so why does he ask?

*Exploring bi-sexuality is a great way to broaden your horizons. It’s also a great way to say “fuck you” to your dad for not buying you that pony you wanted when you were nine.

*Don’t assume that just because a girl is bisexual she wants to make out with your gal pals…unless your gal pals wear cherry chapstick and have tight labias. Then you can assume whatever you like.

*If you do find yourself attracted to someone of the same sex, don’t be ashamed. Curiosity is perfectly natural, just like fisting or being raped by your uncle.

*My biggest rule for any date is to be yourself…unless of course it’s “sweeps week” and Mort from Viacom’s marketing department tells you to be more of a whore. Trust me, he might look out of touch, but that heeb knows how to pull in the 18-to 25-year-old demographic.

*Remember, you can take the girl out of the third-world prostitution ring, but you can’t take the third-world prostitution ring out of the girl.

Special thanks to all of the CelebJihad.com writers.

To view the article as originally published, visit: http://www.celebjihad.com/celeb-jihad/tila-tequilas-dating-tips

DIS ORDER (submitted By Terry)

This haunting poem was submitted by Terry M... He is as talented as he is compelling; I find myself completely drawn in by EVERYTHING he writes. Luckily, he's dumb enough to submit them for posting to ME!!! Thanks for your stupidity Terry - My blog is a better place because of your work!

DISORDER

sin and bones
thin and stones

transparency of a daughter

tracing paper skeletal

jaundiced teeth

falling out dying gums

i wish i were your impaled stomach

i wish i were the food you won’t

i wish i were your meticulous slices of carrot

             and celery and lettuce and evaporated milk

i wish i were your perennial water  bottle comfort

 i will be your ritual, i will lose your battle

 i will be the food at your funeral

 i will be your coffin

 i will be there

Unlikely Movie Sequels or Having Fun on Twitter

Hi Boys and Girls!

I have nothing compelling to say today, so I'll just keep my mouth shut...
But I AM getting rid of my "Bipolar Information" (serious mental health content and cynical sarcasm just don't mesh. I'm reminded of that Sesame Street (or was it the Electric Company?) song "One of these things just doesn't belong here; one of these things just isn't the same..."


and as I said a couple of posts ago, I'll be replacing it with the content submitted to me by other lunatics... It's good stuff. And speaking of good stuff - how many of you had the pleasure of today's
check out some of these Unlikely Sequel Titles!

Go to Twitter and search #unlikelysequels. For those of you who had a hard time cracking that code, it's http://twitter.com - then you type "unlikelysequels in the search box. And while you're there, come see me at http://twitter.com/kimshannon

Here are the Unlikely Sequels I posted - I dont want to pat my own back or toot my own horn, but pat pat and beep beep because they're GENIUS!!! If I do say so myself. And I do.  These Sequels Will Never Hit The Box Office:

**Girl Interrupted This Program To Bring You An Important Public Service Announcement

**Full Metal Smoking Jacket

**Fear and Loathing in Poughkeepsie

**Brokeback Molehill

**Sisterhood Of The Travelling Crotchless Panties

**Mi Casa Es Su Casablanca

**Superman(ic)

**Ben Hur and Thur, Wurr have YOU Ben?

**Slumdog Hobo

**Alexander the Mediocre

**Babylon A.D.H.D.

**Boxing Helena Bonham Carter

**Ressuscitate Bill

**Buena Vista Social Club downgrades to XP

**Con Airhead

**Schindler's Top Friends List

**Don't Tell Your Mamma Mia! Directed by Woody Allen

**An Officer and A Gentleman's Club

**Blade Runner Up

**Rainman Proves The Theory of Evolution

**The Suckit List

**Bill and Ted's Fair To Moderate Walk Around The Block

**50 First Date Rapes

**The Dirty Whore Suicides

**Passion Fruit Of The Christ

**A Raisin In The Sundress

**The Ten Strong Suggestions (The Ten Commandments)

**"Roots" - The story of a bleached blonde

**The Seven Year Old (The Seven Year Itch)

**9 1/2 Inches  - The Reason Why It lasted 9 1/2 Weeks

**American Rye" - Manhandling the Loaf

**American Calligraphy

**Sean Connery is James Bond in Octogenarianpussy

**What's Regurgitating Gilbert Grape

**The Forgotten 2 starring Donnie Darko, Donnie Brasco and Donny Osmond

**The Pillow Fight Club

**Animal Rights House

**American Calligraphy (American Grafitti)

**Smokey And The Crackpipe"

**Jaws 5 starring Gary Busey

**Mommie Queerest - Joan Crawford Comes Out of the Closet

Being that you all are probably conjuring up some unlikely sequels of your own... Comment me and let me in on your brilliance!

Red Hot Buttons

So it's my 4th straight day with ZERO sleep. Yeah - FOUR DAYS. I hate to go off on a tirade, but I'm going off on a tirade... (I'm not tired AT ALL, so I have enough energy to do plenty of bitching.) Although, like I said, I am not the least bit tired, my body is beginning to tell the story of my insomnia. My eyes are blurry, my skin looks sallow, there are dark circles under my eyes, and I don't give a fuck! I've been pretty manic for about a week and a half now (zoom zoom zippity zoom) and my head will not turn itself off... I don't mind too much; I'm getting stuff done.

BUT... I am WORN OUT FROM DEFENDING MYSELF TO ASSHOLES WHO JUST DON'T GET IT!

"You STILL haven't slept?" they say. "No," I tell them, "I'm just not tired - just can't sleep." They will give me that sideways glance, that disapproving look, and this is when I feel the vibe. They're about to cliche the hell out of me, or give me some unsolicited advice that I'd like to shove up their asses. "You know," they start in on their speech; "Lack of sleep is no good for you." I answer back, as calmly as I possibly can, "I know. But I just CAN'T sleep. You don't understand, so just drop the subject." Now they give me the look of impudence. "I'm just trying to look out for your best interest." they say, with a defensive tone and a look in their eye like they just found their puppy smashed into the pavement as roadkill. "I know, but don't worry about me, I'm used to this." I say (and I mean it - I really AM used to it - doesn't bother ME a bit!). "Fine. I'll mind my business" and this time their tone tells me that they think I have somehow betrayed our friendship. I can tell that they are NOT planning on minding their business, and I am manic, so now they're pissing me off. And when you piss me off (especially during mania) you had better duck and run.

Head for the hills, because Mount St. Kim is bubbling, and about to erupt...

I've never been one to hold my tongue and I tell them "Listen motherfucker - I've got one nerve left and you're standing on it. Back away from me , get behind the boundry line, and shut the fuck up, because I'm this close (my thumb and index finger nearly touch - just to illustrate how close I really am...) to getting really evil." And I'm not kidding - I'll smack them if I have to, but it never comes to that. It DOES usually get to the point, however, where I am red hot and ENRAGED; I'm foaming at the mouth, veins popping from my forehead and I'm shaking like Michael J. Fox from leashing my desire to hurl the nearest heavy object at their fucking intruding face. That's when they get the point and let the subject rest.

The thing is... by THAT time, it's too late - and off I go, storming away and ready to take on the first asshole who dares challenge me...

Ahhh.... the beauty of mania. Lack of sleep + nagging friends who just don't fucking understand (and never will) = a really ugly day.

Yup - today's gonna be a real vile one. But probably not for ME...

New hashtag for procrastinators

 Click on the link below and vote for my Twitter Tee.  This is the most action I've seen in months. Don't ruin it for me.


New hashtag for procrastinators: ' #follow friLATE" ' by @kimshannon 

I'm Always Naked When I Do Bad Things

 So I was lying in bed, wearing nothing but my new teeny tiny iPanties and wishing it wasn't so hot and humid outside that night, because a slick layer of moisture covered my entire body... I was bored, and craved a little "girl talk"  so I called Roxanne, my new neighbor and invited her to take a dip in my pool with me. She told me she'd bring the wine... She also said she was bringing "Twister" with her in case we got bored. The doorbell rang about 6 minutes after our call ended... she was REALLY EXCITED to come swim.

Now that I've got your attention, let me just say this: This post IS NOT about sweaty girl on girl action between me and my neighbor. (In fact, my neighbor couldn't fit one ANKLE through a pair of iPanties, and her name's not Roxanne. It's Edna. Or Ethel. Or Crotchety Old Lady Next Door... but that's not the point.)

I MEAN, DO I LOOK LIKE A "PENTHOUSE LETTERS" WRITING KINDA GIRL TO YOU??? Um.. ok, you've got a point there. Maybe that's NOT too far from the scope of imagination.  But again not the point, which I will get to now.
I wanted to be sure I had your undivided attention, because what I have to say is important to me. I can see that I've got it, and I thank you from the bottom of my sweaty imaginary iPanties. So we're ready to move on to the actual topic of this post, which is "JUST SHUT UP AND DO."

Every day while flash-banging my way through this social network and that social network and blog directories, and online magazines and discussion forums and more blog directories and twitter and YouTube and an 8-pack of batteries for my wireless mouse and a 6-pack of Stella Artois for my sanity, I notice that people say "I follow you" or "Thanks for adding me" or "I have favorited you"  or "I'm glad you added me as a friend" - you know the drill. Do we really mean those things, folks? Or are we all just full of shit? I wonder if we all REALLY follow who we're following... Let's say, for the sake of example, a "friend" we are "following" because they are a "favorite" has accomplished a personal goal recently, and has done something as exciting as, well.... ummm.. something like.... oh I dunno. Started a web business. Designed a clothing line. Has a gallery opening. Published a book.

Yeah. Let's say they published a book. Wow... that would really be something, huh? Imagine having a bunch of stuff that YOU wrote printed in ink, bound and sewn and put on shelves in a bookstore??? HOLY SHIT. I'd say that's a pretty major event in a "friend's" life, no?  And because they are one of your "favorite" people in the world, you would of course "follow" them to the bookstore and at the very LEAST, you'd read the jacket to see if your "friend's" new book intrigued you enough to go the extra mile and buy a copy. If it didn't, you'd certainly have enough time to give them 3 seconds worth of texted comments to let them know that you showed up to see what they accomplished, wouldn't you?  And HEYYYYY... wouldn't it be a super-duper EXTRA nifty and neat idea to, I dunno, maybe let OTHER people know what a brilliant thing your "friend" did?? Because they just may tell some more people who might tell a few people and so on and so on and..... DON'T JUST SAY YOU'RE A FOLLOWER, FRIEND, FAN or SUPPORTER - actually try to be one.  Social networking is all about making GENUINE connections people.Ok degenerates and nutbags. None of you are stupid... FARRRRR from it, which is why I adore each and every one of you strangers who I have never met in my life.  So I'm confident that you have succeeded in catching my drift.

So, that being said, take this recommendation for what it's worth... I would like to point your attention to some extraordinary people in our bipolar and poker communities who have done some really interesting (and I'll go as far as to say sometimes even AWE-INSPIRING) things. Do with this information what you will, but before you just "X" out of the page, remember that these are people in our groups, online communities, networks, friends lists and blogrolls... Lets show them that our support isn't as short lived as the bright salmon kitchen paint idea we had last summer, ok? (And then let's show 'em our boobs, because it's great for shock value and very entertaining.)

1. Two friends of mine from the bipolar community, Clive Wild and Maricela Estrada have recently published their memoirs. Both people are wonderfully colorful, intriguing, brilliantly talented writers... I've read both books, and let me just say this: there isn't a single adjective I could throw at you that would be adequate to convey how much I enjoyed each of them... Do yourself a favor and click the links below.

My Life As A Mood Swinger by Clive Wild

 

Bipolar Girl: My Psychotic Self by Maricela Estrada

2. Another wonderful friend of mine, Tom, owns/operates a FANTASTIC poker forum that questions everything about online & live poker and gaming... It also asks the one major nagging question: Is it possible online poker is rigged in any way against players, especially quality players? Again, words can't describe its worth, so click the link and check it out!  X-Files Poker Forum  

Thank you for your attention. So, boys and girls... who can tell me the moral of the story? Nobody? Hm. You guys really need to keep up....The moral of the story is if you don't ACTUALLY befriend your online "friends", you should be wearing a neon sign that reads "I AM A FUCKING POPULARITY CONTESTANT, NOT YOUR FRIEND OR FOLLOWER" - Quit campaigning, Asswipe. Start networking instead. You'll be surprised at what paying attention to other people can do for your social success.

You know, you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours. And by the way, my back is located on my vagina.